Wednesday, July 20, 2011

NO, Mam!

~Dad, please buy me this dress? It is so beautiful!

~But Mam, I wrote all that you just told us in the answer! I deserve more Marks.
No! You deserve something much better than Marks, my dear.

~Please, at least Listen..

~But..then.. I..will you..

I have had my share of advises from people telling me about how I should learn to say NO. But, considering the fact that there exists a more than pleasing amount of people doing just the same, I better be Different. This two-lettered word seems to have taken over my life in a funny sort of a way.
So much so, that I now dream of heaven, where God stands in front of me and when I try going inside, he shuts the door on my face, shouting NO! And I wake up, even having a swollen eye. How Obsessed is that?

Some NO's are very crucial- examinations, love proposals, marriage, ice-creams? to our everyday existence.
If I had the capacity, I'd say A big NO to a few "cases" I came across.

The Guy named Govind. Please see this!
He's one hell of a self-obsessed person! CREEPY!

If I were Blogspot, I'd Blacklist him and put up a snap of his blog page to warn my bloggers to stop being so self-obsessed and GET A LIFE!

The People who Love Free-stuff!

If  I were Sunsilk, I'd personally take note of each of the addresses I come across, of people who are complaining every single day about How they still haven't got their "free kits" of the ongoing 7Day Challenge! And that too, Men and Women equally! Get a life! The kit contains 3 sachets of Shampoo and conditioner and NO other potion that'd be miraculous. You can yourself go and buy the product dude!
And for the extreme miserly kinds, please post your addresses to me, I shall come to you personally..and Handle the matter.

The Guy who almost made me Deaf
If I were the conductor of the bus, I'd make the guy pay for the great inconvenience he caused to the fellow passengers by shouting on the top of his voice, about how he kept eating and puking and he couldn't stop doing both, simultaneously. Dude! I don't care whether you like the puking or the eating..both.. But stop telling me, Coz I do not give a friggin' Damn!

The People who don't know, What's on my Mind
They are my favorite.. The people who love speculating..And that too, mostly verbally.
Just because I have a status update that talks about life, love, emotions Does not mean I had a breakup or someone died in my family. Please. Accept it. And move on.Trying analyzing your life instead. Might just help you, though I fear, it's too late. Coz the next time I find your nose in my business, I won't think twice before I poke my pencil deep into it!

The People who Think and Forget
Well, its more like, you go.. tch tch..and are so frustrated to see the yellow urine  dropssplattered on the toilet seat and curse the person who'd used it previously. And then, when you are done, you get up with a happy smile and go back into your life as if, nothing happened. Forgetting that, you have not cleaned it either.
Moral- Either stop tch-tching.. or, Practice before you Preach!

Oh well, this seems to go on and on. Trust me, the list is Never-ending. Do let me know what you Rave or Rant about! For ideas, How about people farting in a crowded bus, or burping loudly in a restaurant, or ladies walking on stilletos in public when they are not used to it.
Keep thinking!
Any new ones? Post in a comment!