In God's Name..

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
And the word was God,
said the Gospel of John
Why was I then forced into
By your workers O Lord!


Summoning like nightmares,
my self-dignity suffocated into nothingness,
I don't think I can take anymore,
I should end this life.
This is not me, O Lord
Not what you had made me.


Why was I preached into
become out of my hunger to be
Anglicized, against my will,
Wouldn't it be better if the famine engulfed me?




No identity, a fake cloak over my body,
Take me to you O Lord,
where religion would be my will,
when I bend on my knees and see you
when they close their eyes, and Know your Will.
I feel no more, I am no more, my Own.






This post is a very delicate one, and I hope all my readers appreciate the feelings of this particular individual, whose diary was found by his grandson where he wrote about how his forced conversion to Christianity, in the British province (subah) of Bengal where a famine had struck almost the entire population and had swept away more than 70,000 people.
People were dying of hunger, loss of lives, loss of property.
The British government agreed to help, on one condition.
Conversion to Christianity.


This person is a Musalman (Muslim) and is forced to convert to support himself and his dying family. But somewhere, he cannot forgive himself for the "crime" that he was part of. This is his story.

Rescued, really?

A war is not only between two nations or groups.. A war affects People-their lives, their dreams. This is an account of such a survivor..
She often asks me.. What is the point surviving, when Nothing seems same anymore.. Wouldn't Death be much easier?
She leaves me speechless.


Rescued..Really?..


What happens now?
Where do I go from here?
Have I been saved
only to wander forever
in this wasteland?
There has to be more than this..
This salvation is excruciating
in its silence..
I am more alone now
than ever before
I wasn't prepared for this
I am not trained
to survive here.

If and when I find my oasis
Will I be able to recognize it..?
Or will I dismiss it
as a mirage??
Am I blinded
by these years of conditioning?

All my plans of greatness
and grandeur
thwarted at sunset
as I sit morning till night
watching out the window
trying to recollect
what I used to be.

How many windows
do I have to open
to let in enough sunshine
to lit up my dreary heart...
My insides are dark and cold
and there aren't enough windows!!

How many words of concern
and warm embraces
will thaw my soul..?
Its frozen into a semi-solid mass
so viscous
I am afraid it will never resume its flow!!

Coming to An End.

Walls closing in on me , leaving me breathless.

Forcing its pain, leaving me heartless.

Breaking the spirit, leaving me careless.

Stealing life from within me, leaving me motionless..

 Breathe. 

Take me to the zenith,

then trash me down

an inconvincible defeat.

I can take no more.

Fear.

Cognizant vulnerablity

Too hard to miff, yet omnipresent

How long would this last,

would forever finally make sense?

Believe.

Closed eyes and parted lips,

an Opera of the Last Goodbye

Let the bandwagons loose

Fare thee well, My Self.

End.

Tried something new- Free verse. Critical evaluation requested!

Today, Words don't come easily.

To caress the relished memories
Of a time not long ago,
I'd bring in the classics
the dialogues; the silent whispers

Bead them one by one,
into an invincible conversation
of the Unspoken solitude
we now are left with.

Today, words don't come out easily.

The crossroads of my never-land,
crossed your lane, sometimes
And the fragrance of your soaked clothes
would bring me back home.

Some reminisces left unfurled,
Let them be, for now
To twirl them to open-ness
would only leave them scarred.

Today, words do not come easily.

Let us be like the sunshine, and the rain
Apart but still under the same sky,
Longing for our identities, lets linger for some more time,
Till we find our tangent of Love, again.

Today words don't come easily,
Let them be.
We'll dance some other time,
To our self-construed symphony.

Feel The Pain.To Grow.Again

All communication problems are due to the reason that we don't listen to understand. We listen only to reply!




We tend to fall in love the same way we get sick; without wanting to, without believing it, against our will & unable to defend ourselves. and then we lose love exactly the same way. 


But do actually lose anything? No. We only Gain.
The love we show to others is just a reflection of the love within us. Our soul is like a vessel, filled with ever flowing Love. It is only when there is too much love that we witness the Pain.. The Pain of Overflow.


This pain is nothing but a warning. To spread it, some more. Don't feel beaten by the pain but swell it harder to reach another broken heart or a hand stretched 
out for help. One Act can cause all the difference My friends.

Reach.Out.
Feel the Pain.To grow Again.

বেচে আছি এই তো বেশ..

কোনও দুর দেশে
চলে যাই আমি
রাত পোহাবার শেষে

তবু থামি
একটু থামি আমি
তাকাই, তাকাই হেসে

ফেলে আসা পথ
পথের শপথ
মিথ্যে শপথ

তাই আঁধার শেষে
কোনও দুর দেশে
চলে যাই আমি

সেই ভালো
বড় বেশি ভালো...


আর ও ভাল হয়,
যদি আমি হারিয়ে যাই
চিরদিনের মত তোমার আকাশ থেকে 
খসে যাওয়া তারার মত..


আমি চলে যাব পার হয়ে নদী
থামব না মোটে,
দেখবে তোমার আকাশে তখন
কত তারা ফোটে-
হলুদ-সবুজ, কালো-লাল সব
প্রীতি-নমস্য !!


Note~
মন থেকে মনের কখনো দূরত্ব হয়না,
বাহ্যিক দূরত্ব মানুষকে আরও কাছে আনে...
যে মন্তব্যগুলো হয়েছে তা শুধু অভিমান থেকে এসেছে 
আরও কাছে থাকার অভিপ্রায় থেকে....
:)


P.S.
This is a Poem I wrote inspired by few lines I came across. Hope it strikes a chord. For those who could not understand the language, well, The English translation shall soon follow!

The Procrastinating Heart

Love me Again..

Love me The way You Did,

Hold me In your Arms..

The way You Held Me before,

Look Into My eyes..

Deeply As You Did,

And Feel The Love I Have...

That i'll Always Have For You,

Scared I Am..

For I'm Losing You,

I'm Not Perfect 

And Imperfectly, May I Love You?

Don't Leave Me Alone..

Please Don't Let Me Go,

Just One More Time...

Love Me Again..

Love Me The Way You Did..

उस पार..इस पार

मेरे मिट्टी के खिलौनों से
उस पार की मिट्टी की भी
महक आती है
तो क्या तोड़ दोगे तुम
मेरे सारे खिलौने ?

मेरी पतंग
जब कभी उड़ कर
उस पार जायेगी
और क्षितिज के शिखर को
छूना चाहेगी
तो क्या फाड़ दोगे तुम
मेरे रंगीन सपनों को ?
या फिर काट दोगे-
मेरे ही हाथ?

कुछ बोलो......
क्या करोगे तुम?

उस पार से जब कभी पंछी
मेरी बगिया में
गीत गाने आयेंगे
तो क्या रोक दोगे तुम
उनकी उड़ान ?
या उजाड़ दोगे
मेरी ही बगिया?






जब कभी उस पार के
गुलाबों की खुशबू
मेरी साँसों मेंघुल जाया करेगी तो क्या थाम लोगे तुम
चंचल हवाओं को ?या तोड़ दोगे
मेरी साँसों की
नाजुक सी डोर?




उस पार से चल करचंद ख्वाब
जब मेरी पलकों में पनाह लेने आयेंगे
तो क्या रोक दोगे तुम
उनका रास्ता?
या छीन लोगे मुझसे
मेरी ही आँखें?

कुछ बोलो......
क्या करोगे तुम?
कुछ तो बोलो .....








इस पार
उस पार
उस पार
इस पार
दीवारें खड़ी करने के लिए
और कितने घर उजाड़ोगे तुम?
कितनों की मांगों का सिन्दूर मिटाओगे ?
कितनों की आँखों का दीप बुझाओगे ?
सुर्ख लाल ईटों पर
और कितने खून चढाओगे तुम ?
बोलो....
कुछ तो बोलो ....

इन दीवारों को लम्बी करने के लिए
और कितनी ईंट जुटाओगे तुम?
जो कम पड़ी, तो क्या दिलों को भी निकाल कर
दीवारों पर चुन्वाओगे तुम?
बोलो .....

'माँ' को टुकडो में बिखेर दिया तुमने
क्या आसमां को भी बंटवाओगे तुम?

कुछ बोलो......
कुछ तो बोलो?

प्रश्न शिथिल है
उत्तर भी
बस एक डर है -
कि ईंटों की गिनती इतनी जियादा ना हो जाए
कि वो अपने ही बोझ तले ढह जाएं
और मलबे में दबे
मुझे तुम दिखो
कराहते हुए .....
पछताते हुए......
सिर्फ तुम ........

P.S.
This post is a part of the Patriotic Poetry Contest, organised by Gurukripa

एक बार फिर से सजा है कूरूक्षेत्र का मैदान

एक बार फिर से सजा है कुरुक्षेत्र का मैदान,
फर्क है इतना मैदान है पूरा भारत महान.


छाते विदेसी इस धरती पर, बनके कौरव,

लूटते विदेसी इस धरती को बनके कौरव.


सोये हुवे ओ पान्ड्व जागो,


सोये हुवे ओ केशव जागो,





जो है तैयार हमारे भितर,


बजाने को पानज्नय का नाद.


पूकारती है यै धरा,


पूकारती है यै वसूनधरा,





बजाने को शंखनाद,


ऊथाने को धनुष ओर बाण.

P.S.

This post is a part of the Patriotic Poetry Contest, organised by Gurukripa

Melancholic Journey O' Mine

There are things I do not understand,

some remorsed; some still confused

But bedazzled by all,

Strives the mind, flummoxed is the heart.

Today, words don't rhyme,

they rather fall into places

Like a perfect melancholy

of no strings attached,They flow.

Words unveil the mistress

Of the world hitherto unknown.

Takes her into a womb of ambiguence

As if, there would be no return.

And as I lay awake,

like every other shallow dusk

You haunt me like an old melody,

Like the Stars, Like the Moon

In my sordid sky.

I wait even this day,

to find my self, long lost.

Someday she'll rise

Like the Phoenix from the ashes.

NO, Mam!

~Dad, please buy me this dress? It is so beautiful!

NO!

~But Mam, I wrote all that you just told us in the answer! I deserve more Marks.

No! You deserve something much better than Marks, my dear.

~Please, at least Listen..

NO!

~But..then.. I..will you..

NO!

No!

NOoo!!

I have had my share of advises from people telling me about how I should learn to say NO. But, considering the fact that there exists a more than pleasing amount of people doing just the same, I better be Different. This two-lettered word seems to have taken over my life in a funny sort of a way.

So much so, that I now dream of heaven, where God stands in front of me and when I try going inside, he shuts the door on my face, shouting NO! And I wake up, even having a swollen eye. How Obsessed is that?

Some NO's are very crucial- examinations, love proposals, marriage, ice-creams? to our everyday existence.

If I had the capacity, I'd say A big NO to a few "cases" I came across.

The Guy named Govind. Please see this!

He's one hell of a self-obsessed person! CREEPY!

http://govindtiwari.blogspot.com/

If I were Blogspot, I'd Blacklist him and put up a snap of his blog page to warn my bloggers to stop being so self-obsessed and GET A LIFE!

The People who Love Free-stuff!

If  I were Sunsilk, I'd personally take note of each of the addresses I come across, of people who are complaining every single day about How they still haven't got their "free kits" of the ongoing 7Day Challenge! And that too, Men and Women equally! Get a life! The kit contains 3 sachets of Shampoo and conditioner and NO other potion that'd be miraculous. You can yourself go and buy the product dude!

And for the extreme miserly kinds, please post your addresses to me, I shall come to you personally..and Handle the matter.

The Guy who almost made me Deaf

If I were the conductor of the bus, I'd make the guy pay for the great inconvenience he caused to the fellow passengers by shouting on the top of his voice, about how he kept eating and puking and he couldn't stop doing both, simultaneously. Dude! I don't care whether you like the puking or the eating..both.. But stop telling me, Coz I do not give a friggin' Damn!

The People who don't know, What's on my Mind

They are my favorite.. The people who love speculating..And that too, mostly verbally.

Just because I have a status update that talks about life, love, emotions Does not mean I had a breakup or someone died in my family. Please. Accept it. And move on.Trying analyzing your life instead. Might just help you, though I fear, it's too late. Coz the next time I find your nose in my business, I won't think twice before I poke my pencil deep into it!

The People who Think and Forget

Well, its more like, you go.. tch tch..and are so frustrated to see the yellow urine  dropssplattered on the toilet seat and curse the person who'd used it previously. And then, when you are done, you get up with a happy smile and go back into your life as if, nothing happened. Forgetting that, you have not cleaned it either.

Moral- Either stop tch-tching.. or, Practice before you Preach!

Oh well, this seems to go on and on. Trust me, the list is Never-ending. Do let me know what you Rave or Rant about! For ideas, How about people farting in a crowded bus, or burping loudly in a restaurant, or ladies walking on stilletos in public when they are not used to it.

Keep thinking!

Any new ones? Post in a comment!

The Art of Nothingness

I have been listening to Bruno Mars telling me that he is too lazy to do anything..And I so totally could agree with him!  Why do we need to do something all the time? Why can't we be happy with Nothingness? I have been asked a million times and over about how I manage to do Nothing.
Well, it is really simple. You just Don't Do Anything~ and conversely you end up doing Nothing!
People smirk when they ask me, What's Up and I tell them, Nothing.
But why!
One doesn't realize that it takes a lot of effort to jut fold your arms, lay back and make a conscious decision Not to do anything. They ask me, why would you waste your time and efforts in not doing something when you can do so many things?

No wonder why they then keep grumbling about why they don't have a happy life, why they cannot do the things they want to do and the person they once wanted to be. Because, once in a while we must Not to anything at all, to figure out what we can actually do, and which would make the most sense to us. And trust me, when we get to do that, we are Happy. Contended.

Because for once, we aren't part of the gigantic unison of the Rat race but rather in terms with our own selves. Like Kung-fu Panda tells us, Inner Peace. We can go looking for it, anywhere in the world and do anything to find it, but it comes only when we surrender, when we give up the resistance. We find that peace only when we stop looking at ourselves like the decked-up mannequins that hang in a museum or a fashion outlet and instead look at ourselves as the person we are..With all the flesh blood and most importantly, emotions.

WAIT. PONDER. LISTEN. WAKE.
BECOME.

Ain't Over.

18th June, 2008


...And, out of nowhere he told me when he grew up he
wanted to marry me. I said, 'Why me?' And he looked
up at me and said, 'because, you are my anyway friend.'
At the time I didn’t know what that meant, so he had
to explain to me that an anyway friend is the one person
in your life who that no matter what they say or do, no
matter what they’ve been through with you,



they love you anyway.


I am so thankful to you God. I don't think I could ask for anything else, Anymore.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




18th June, 2011


Today we're no longer together but I know for sure, it Ain't Over Yet..
Even if we never meet again, I'd remember the good times, forgive the bad ones and keep loving. Even if you tell me today, that you hate me. I'll remember the times you told me that you loved me, more than anything else in the world. Today you don't need me, but I will always remember how madly you needed me then.

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: Glass Half Full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. And I remember a friend telling me once, that if you keep a half-filled tumbler under a tap, and turn it on at full speed, The tumbler will never fill. The water will always escape out.

Bourgeois Love

I have memories of a bourgeois romance,
Stifled by the middle-class concerns
Of a small, miserly town,
A town where love was a blasphemy,
And morality a cross
To which emotions were nailed always.
A heartless town with small minds,
And smaller dreams.

I return to it often,
Though a lifetime has gone by,
To hear the hushed whispers of a love,
That still breathes through its tomb
Of dusty lanes and petty houses,
As I try to convince myself yet again,
That for the death of our love,
It was the town to blame,
And nothing else..

Once Upon A Time

Guest Post by Shivani Sharma

Once upon a time,

nights meant love.

days meant dreams

And life meant perfection.

Yes it seemed so perfect.

Then came a phase when,

Nights meant shedding tears

for the one who meant love to you earlier

Days meant expecting some intimation

from the one whom you love.

And life meant helplessness.

Once upon a time,

prayers meant well being of the person you love

And still not letting him know that he is in your prayers.

but then came a phase, where

Prayers meant pleading to God 

to let the person know that 

he was always in your prayers and dreams...

Once upon a time, I used to smile and 

you believed me and my love

Shivani Sharma,
     A follower of my facebook page and a  Friend.

but later...you wanted a proof of it

Once upon a time, I lived for you

but now it is time, that I live for myself

Once upon a time, I waited for you

now it is time..that You wait for me.

Once upon a time I compromised myself

or rather lost myself while loving you

Now it is time for you to figure out what you have lost.

I lost you and found myself...

now days and nights are mine...

Yes it was once upon a time when i commited a mistake

but now it is time to learn and rectify it.

Sooner or later, it had to happen and I'm glad it just happened.

Because everything has been written and destined..

Now everything seems so perfect again 

Because now I have conquered my dreams yet again.

To every Bend, is a Mend.

‎...And we drink the moonlight
dance in the air
as we kiss, we melt..
I wish it wasn't just another Affair...

But like every good thing ends,
there would be an ending to this tale too
as glossy as it may sound,
It would never feel this strong.


With these words, they parted..
flown away by the same wind,
the same dew drops
that'd caressed them to coalesce


Now they are distanced
like the two banks of a river
as they flow into different horizons


Another leaf shudders,
'tis his time now
Even he would drop down
one day, not long enough
and depart from his beloved one.


People like leaves,
meet only to part
some stories never end,
they only Start.




Thus the leaves,
transcended beyond beliefs
and fell into a lake
unaware of each other's presence,
they again suddenly met.


Life always gives us an old end
if not a new beginning, to mend.
It takes a while to see the larger picture,
there is a new road, to every Bend.


Hang in there..I'd say! :)