Saturday, May 12, 2012

Questions of Gender Equilibrium

I am not an author. I write. I opinionate. Some people think that being a blogger does not mean you are a writer. Definitions confuse me, for I as a human am not bound to learn them, or believe them if I don't wish to believe them. While I cannot stand it when a man harasses a woman in any form of the word, I cannot stand it either when a girl uses it to harass a man. In this so-called "enlightened" world where we study Gender as a tool of analysis, what we forget it what the term "Gender" constitutes. For those who don't know, it means,
according to Wikipedia, Gender studies is a field of interdisciplinary study and academic field devoted to gender identity and gendered representation as central categories of analysis. This field includesWomen's studies (concerning womenfeminism, gender, and politics), Men's studies, and LGBT studies.

Well you must be wondering what's gotten into me today! Hah, well I am usually misunderstood to be a feminist. I only take gender studies, VERY seriously. Just looking at the whirls of time, there was one when women cried and begged to be heard, with evidences of blood, violence and lust smeared all over her and yet people disbelieved her.
And now the time is such that, if a man makes a gesture, which maybe questioning or contesting to a woman's opinion or thought, he is said to be a harasser? And you would be surprised to know that this case erupts right amidst the Literati Group I have on Facebook.

To give you an overview. A Book reviewer adds an author. They have a chat. Which becomes the fundamental cause of all the eruptions henceforth. In the chat, the author is inquisitive whether the person's profile is fake or not ( Yes, alarmingly, a lot of fake profile have been made on Facebook.) And then laughs when she tells him her blog-name. The way she addresses herself as "Mam" who reviews book. This may sound funny to anyone. That does not make him/her a harasser.

Also, she wrote a status about it and tagged all the authors she has recently added on Facebook. I mean were they blind enough otherwise, to not see it, unless she had other intentions..well..!

Here are some of the things I have to say regarding this entire fiasco. To the authors, reviewers, publishers and people who read or are anyhow involved.

1.Just because I think a profile is Fake, I question you, what do you do..whether the profile pic is yours or not.. what do you do, besides reviewing.. That makes me a harasser if I am a male? WHAT IF IT WAS ME, Girl? Would that make me a harasser too?

2. I think most of us are missing the point. Irrespective of whether he is from whatever educational institution( education at a higher level and authorship must not have a connection, considering all those who write today.) , whether he writes proper english or not ( like you yourself haven't written the status in proper english, let's leave writing a book) , or anything else.

Especially that he spams the walls, groups pages with his promotions.  I mean hello, most of you spam walls. Don't you? Anyone who does not post about his/her upcoming books? the interviews? That makes you a harasser?

I don't know that guy too well. Just another result of social networking!! My point here is, just because a person asks if you have a fake profile or not, and just because he is a man, does not make him a harasser. If that man has said something explicit, we request you to kindly give us a copy of the chat. Rather than tagging people *(in your words, making them aware) ...

The truth is everyday we get atleast 20 friend requests, most of them are unknown to us. I at least accept them, looking at the enormous number of mutual friends we have. They may be fake. If someone questions, why does that hurt the woman's ego? And would she bring it in this shade of an opinion if the accuser had been a female? instead f that man?

As of now, this is what she gave as an evidence. Here is a screenshot of a chat she had:

His mistake was to write : "Review mam hahah would love to have something else also apart from review" which was a satirical remark he made because he thought this was a fake profile, and she replied that she does book reviews so he simply asked what else does she do, as a profession.
However, after his haha-debacle he realised he might have hurt this girl, in case she wasn't fake, so he apologised.Not once but many times.
To conclude, All I can say is that all of it was nothing more than a misunderstanding, which could have defamed someone who is struggling to make a niche for himself in this great wide world of literati. 
Also, I urge all my readers to understand the equality of gender. Yes, women have been exploited, ignored and I would always stand up for them. As much as I possibly can. But one must also recognise and accept with greater humility that men and women have equal rights, equal opportunities to claim equality not just before law, but MINDSET. There was a man involved in all of this and hence many of the commentators supported the girl. But what if I had raised questions over the fact of whether her profile is real or not. Then people would have got the logic, like they subsequently got. But my point is, how fair is it? What if, I had not come across this entire thread of discussions? What if I never stood up for this man, who was simply misunderstood? He is not a phenomenal writer or someone very proficient in English. He is just another author among the plethora of those who wish to write, whether they can do it well or not,  is a different issue altogether.

 I request at least authors to refrain from forming an opinion without having much knowledge about the scene. for the sake of a "community" that calls itself to be united and helping each other. I hate to see it diffusing like this, without any evidence

I respect those who face these things and come out to raise their voices. I am still not supporting him, all m saying is I think..You misinterpreted his words and of course, not so good English too. :) Just accept it rather than making a hue and cry of it!

Friends, let us solemnly swear to use proper English. That should be the moral of this story. :)