Questions of Gender Equilibrium

I am not an author. I write. I opinionate. Some people think that being a blogger does not mean you are a writer. Definitions confuse me, for I as a human am not bound to learn them, or believe them if I don't wish to believe them. While I cannot stand it when a man harasses a woman in any form of the word, I cannot stand it either when a girl uses it to harass a man. In this so-called "enlightened" world where we study Gender as a tool of analysis, what we forget it what the term "Gender" constitutes. For those who don't know, it means,
according to Wikipedia, Gender studies is a field of interdisciplinary study and academic field devoted to gender identity and gendered representation as central categories of analysis. This field includesWomen's studies (concerning women, feminism, gender, and politics), Men's studies, and LGBT studies.

Well you must be wondering what's gotten into me today! Hah, well I am usually misunderstood to be a feminist. I only take gender studies, VERY seriously. Just looking at the whirls of time, there was one when women cried and begged to be heard, with evidences of blood, violence and lust smeared all over her and yet people disbelieved her.

And now the time is such that, if a man makes a gesture, which maybe questioning or contesting to a woman's opinion or thought, he is said to be a harasser? And you would be surprised to know that this case erupts right amidst the Literati Group I have on Facebook.

To give you an overview. A Book reviewer adds an author. They have a chat. Which becomes the fundamental cause of all the eruptions henceforth. In the chat, the author is inquisitive whether the person's profile is fake or not ( Yes, alarmingly, a lot of fake profile have been made on Facebook.) And then laughs when she tells him her blog-name. The way she addresses herself as "Mam" who reviews book. This may sound funny to anyone. That does not make him/her a harasser.

Also, she wrote a status about it and tagged all the authors she has recently added on Facebook. I mean were they blind enough otherwise, to not see it, unless she had other intentions..well..!

Anyways,

Here are some of the things I have to say regarding this entire fiasco. To the authors, reviewers, publishers and people who read or are anyhow involved.

1.Just because I think a profile is Fake, I question you, what do you do..whether the profile pic is yours or not.. what do you do, besides reviewing.. That makes me a harasser if I am a male? WHAT IF IT WAS ME, Girl? Would that make me a harasser too?

2. I think most of us are missing the point. Irrespective of whether he is from whatever educational institution( education at a higher level and authorship must not have a connection, considering all those who write today.) , whether he writes proper english or not ( like you yourself haven't written the status in proper english, let's leave writing a book) , or anything else.

Especially that he spams the walls, groups pages with his promotions.  I mean hello, most of you spam walls. Don't you? Anyone who does not post about his/her upcoming books? the interviews? That makes you a harasser?

I don't know that guy too well. Just another result of social networking!! My point here is, just because a person asks if you have a fake profile or not, and just because he is a man, does not make him a harasser. If that man has said something explicit, we request you to kindly give us a copy of the chat. Rather than tagging people *(in your words, making them aware) ...

The truth is everyday we get atleast 20 friend requests, most of them are unknown to us. I at least accept them, looking at the enormous number of mutual friends we have. They may be fake. If someone questions, why does that hurt the woman's ego? And would she bring it in this shade of an opinion if the accuser had been a female? instead f that man?

As of now, this is what she gave as an evidence. Here is a screenshot of a chat she had:

His mistake was to write : "Review mam hahah would love to have something else also apart from review" which was a satirical remark he made because he thought this was a fake profile, and she replied that she does book reviews so he simply asked what else does she do, as a profession.

However, after his haha-debacle he realised he might have hurt this girl, in case she wasn't fake, so he apologised.Not once but many times.

To conclude, All I can say is that all of it was nothing more than a misunderstanding, which could have defamed someone who is struggling to make a niche for himself in this great wide world of literati. 

Also, I urge all my readers to understand the equality of gender. Yes, women have been exploited, ignored and I would always stand up for them. As much as I possibly can. But one must also recognise and accept with greater humility that men and women have equal rights, equal opportunities to claim equality not just before law, but MINDSET. There was a man involved in all of this and hence many of the commentators supported the girl. But what if I had raised questions over the fact of whether her profile is real or not. Then people would have got the logic, like they subsequently got. But my point is, how fair is it? What if, I had not come across this entire thread of discussions? What if I never stood up for this man, who was simply misunderstood? He is not a phenomenal writer or someone very proficient in English. He is just another author among the plethora of those who wish to write, whether they can do it well or not,  is a different issue altogether.

Anyhow,

 I request at least authors to refrain from forming an opinion without having much knowledge about the scene. for the sake of a "community" that calls itself to be united and helping each other. I hate to see it diffusing like this, without any evidence

I respect those who face these things and come out to raise their voices. I am still not supporting him, all m saying is I think..You misinterpreted his words and of course, not so good English too. :) Just accept it rather than making a hue and cry of it!

Friends, let us solemnly swear to use proper English. That should be the moral of this story. :)

Happy Birthday, Tagore!

Today I celebrate the birthday of a man  who had the talent, passion intellect and heart to live life in the best manner possible. He sung, he wrote, he drew and he spoke. People remember him for his love for nature, for expression and for his love for this nation.

I being a Bengali, take extreme pride in coming from the same land he was born in. This is my tribute to you, Sir. You are an immortal being. If I were a true atheist, you would be my God. You would.

Happy Birthday Gurudeb.

Life had dragged me along

the pavements with stones and thorns

With little steps I carried on,

I carried on.

You became the ray of hope

when nothing else managed me to hold on

In your presence, I learned to grow,

I learned to grow.

The one who believes not in God

as much as in you, the trust she holds

You never let me down Gurudeb,

Never let me down.

Steer me along, make me yours

I'll be your shadow, your season, your halo

Feel me around, and I find you with me

I find you with me.

I am no artist, but still I had this urge to sketch him. So here it is.

Also, to make this day special and to make my dear readers well-versed with this poetic genius, I request you to take this opportunity to know a little more about Tagore-his life, his mission and his achievements. You never know how transforming it might be.

Let's start with the basics?

Here is the Wikipedia link. WIKIPEDIA-TAGORE

Here is a link where you can find most of the translated works (English)- PoemHunter

I have tried singing the song, Shokhi Bhalobasha Kahare Koye which was written and composed by the great Tagore himself. I also tried sketching a portrait of him. I hope he is watching me. I pray he keeps looking over me. Guiding me, loving me.

The Lyrics

In Bengali

সখী, ভাবনা কাহারে বলে। সখী, যাতনা কাহারে বলে ।
তোমরা যে বলো দিবস-রজনী ‘ভালোবাসা’ ‘ভালোবাসা’—
সখী, ভালোবাসা কারে কয় ! সে কি কেবলই যাতনাময় ।
সে কি কেবলই চোখের জল ? সে কি কেবলই দুখের শ্বাস ?
লোকে তবে করে কী সুখেরই তরে এমন দুখের আশ ।
আমার চোখে তো সকলই শোভন,
সকলই নবীন, সকলই বিমল, সুনীল আকাশ, শ্যামল কানন,
বিশদ জোছনা, কুসুম কোমল— সকলই আমার মতো ।
তারা কেবলই হাসে, কেবলই গায়, হাসিয়া খেলিয়া মরিতে চায়—
না জানে বেদন, না জানে রোদন, না জানে সাধের যাতনা যত ।
ফুল সে হাসিতে হাসিতে ঝরে, জোছনা হাসিয়া মিলায়ে যায়,
হাসিতে হাসিতে আলোকসাগরে আকাশের তারা তেয়াগে কায় ।
আমার মতন সুখী কে আছে। আয় সখী, আয় আমার কাছে—
সুখী হৃদয়ের সুখের গান শুনিয়া তোদের জুড়াবে প্রাণ ।
প্রতিদিন যদি কাঁদিবি কেবল একদিন নয় হাসিবি তোরা—
একিদন নয় বিষাদ ভুলিয়া সকলে মিলিয়া গাহিব মোরা ।।


In English


Sakhi, bhabona kahare bole?Sakhi, jatona kahare bole?
Tomra je bolo dibosho-rajoni,Bhalobasha, bhalobasha.
sakhi, bhalobasha kare koye?Seki keboli jatona-moye?
Seki keboli chokher jal?Seki keboli dukher saash?
Loke tobe kore ki sukheri tore,Aemon dukhero aash?
Aamar chokhe to shokoli sobhon, Shokoli nobeen, shokoli bimol.
Suneel akash, shyamolo kanon. Bishodo jochona, kusumo komol.
Shokol amari moton.Tara keboli hanshe, keboli gaye,
Hanshiya, kheliya morite chaye.Najane bedon, najane radon.
Najane shader jatona joton.Phool se hanshite hanshite jhore,
Jochona hanshiya milaye jaye,Hanshite hanshite alok sagore,
Akashero taara ke aage paye.
Aamar moton sukhi ke aache?Aaye sakhi aaye, aamar kaache
Sukhi hridoyer sukher gaanSuniya toder judaabe pran
Protidin jodi kandibi kebol,Ek din noye hanshibi tora,
Ek din noye bishado bhuliya,Shokole miliya gahibo mora..
...
Bhabona kahare bole?Sakhi, jatona kahare bole?
Tomra je bolo dibosho-rajoni,Bhalobasha, bhalobasha.

Finding Peace

It was never going to be an ordinary day. No day after this would be an ordinary one. Rakhi lay on the bare floor, her wrist letting all the pain away, with the blood. She made no noise, her parents were close by in the other room, talking. The rain was pouring, with sways of light breeze flocking her curls slightly, a silent spectator of all that she had experienced. Soon the blood would stop flowing. So would the breeze.

She could hear her mother whimpering as her father growled in anger. "Why did we allow her to go to college? It is all because of your callousness, Radha! Why else would they choose only Rakhi out of so many girls!"

Her mother, now crying aloud shouted, " This girl! This girl has made me kneel onto our knuckles, Krishna jee! She must have woo-ed those boys. These boys are from the Thakur family- well-bred and of royal blood. She is at fault for sure. I repent! I repent the day I gave birth to this slut!

"I wish I could strangle her to death, only that I can be jailed.Or else...", Krishna's voice trailed into a silent gasp of anger.

The rain was getting heavier, the blood was flowing out of the house through the drain, diluting itself into the rain-water. Maybe some bit of her would get evaporated along with the raindrops. Maybe then she would finally find peace.

"Where will we now get a groom for her! Who would want to marry a polluted girl! What a shame she had put us all into! Even the lamest of boys ask for such a huge dowry. What do we do with her, Radha?", Krishna scuffled as he said those words, emotions searing through his chest, hot and burning.

He inhaled deeply. Standing against the window, the breeze touched his face and sent cool shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes for a moment. He saw Rakhi, a little girl playing with a bowl, pretending to cook lunch for him. She looked at him, draped her chunni over her head and came running to Krishna with the bowl filled with boiled rice. "Baba, I cooked this! All by myself.", she exclaimed as she proudly presented the bowl to him, her eyes twinkling . The twinkle seemed to dull slowly, until it blurred completely.

His eyes opened, and his hands reached out, as if to get hold of his little daughter. He sighed. That little daughter, had proved him wrong. She wasn't that little any longer. In fact, it was unbearable for him to even call her, his own! Krishna sighed, took in another deep breath and continued," When a daughter is born, her marriage, her training becomes a father's major concern. She becomes the upholder of the father's respect and dignity. When Rakhi was born, I knew I have a burden to carry. But I never knew the weight of it until today. What face will I show to the society? She got herself raped! And that too, not by one but five boys from the Thakur family! Sexually enticing whore! Thankfully, the Panchayat forgave her for filing the complaint in the police station and asked me to take back the case and let the issue die away quietly. Or else the surrounding villages would have also come to known of this shameful incident!"

The sky has almost emptied itself, detached from the weight of the clouds that's clung to it just hours back. The earth smells of home; a place meant for all to exist but few to live. The rain has filled almost every hole, even the ones that hid themselves behind walls or creeks and beneath layers of silt. The sky is clear now, greeting a new morning. The rain has gone, so has the night.The night that promised darkness for some, to others, just another night to sleep. 

Krishna looks across at the picturesque scene outside. It gave him hope, a silent nudge that things would get fine from here on. The horizon seemed distant and blurred,as if it challenged him to go forward and grasp it. It reminded him of the glance he had seen of his daughter, Rakhi last night. He walks down the corridor and enters her room. He finds darkness looming in, as if it wished to engulf the room and everything it contained. Even Rakhi.

His eyes struggle around the room, searching for her. And he stops midway, as he sees her lying on the floor. Silent. and Lifeless. She found her peace, somewhere in that darkness. In the drops of rain that smothered the pain, she had experienced. There would be no pain now and no shame too. It was never going to be an ordinary day in her life. It had taken in too much and given her what she finally needed the most: Peace. Justice had never been an option.

B.R.E.A.T.H.E 

This post is part of the contest It was never going to be an ordinary day.. on WriteUpCafe.com

That Girl

I met a girl, she was tucking her hair 

into the hood of the jacket she wore,

It was summer, and I thought she was mad

Still, I stood by and watched instead.

After a while I asked,
Ay! It ain't winter yet,
She looked at me, and turned back to her work
"Go on, after you've enjoyed my madness"
She said. You shouldn't be this rude, you knowI wanted to help, after that I can always go, I said.

And then shall return winter, hounding upon me

this warmth shall be missed, the windows closed yet open

The sill would break, the winds would blow the curtains away

My home would drown into mud and clay.

Then would come ice, and shudder my fright

into me, like this warmth of yours you show

Drill into my strength and take it out

force the cold, to end the much-ignored fight.

Ay! You must leave soon,

for I can see winter coming

What if he sees you here,

he might run away, she said.

That would be a good thing, right?

I replied. It would save you from hell.

And after that I can trod along my path,

I'll feel good I helped someone, mate!

She smiled to me, a sad smile 

that almost broke my heart apart,

Why o Why, would you not let him come,

the one that is horrid, but is sure to come.

That who is my true friend,

he comes and goes, to come back again.

You must go, go now girl,

Spring awaits you somewhere in your way!

She wouldn't budge. So I gave up.

I looked at her one last time and stepped ahead. In front

of the road, I saw a veil, removing it

was a mirror instead.

I saw that little girl, standing midst of the winter hail

We looked, just the same.