Dust...

To trade the blame
To erase the name
Wrapped in your skin
I wish to shed

My fears
your tears
This sin
of being
Blood

I dream to return
I long to be
Dust
Again.

Death

Heard this dialogue in some movie, I can't recall..
But it is definitely worth a thought..
We spend our whole life trying to stop death. Eating, inventing, loving, praying, fighting, killing. But what do we really know about death? Just that nobody comes back. Then there comes a point - a moment - in life when your mind outlives its desires, its obsessions, when your habits survive your dreams, and when your losses... Maybe death is a gift..after all..



Nor dread nor hope attend
A dying animal;
A man awaits his end
Dreading and hoping all;
Many times he died,
Many times rose again.
A great man in his pride
Confronting murderous men
Casts derision upon
Super-session of breath;
He knows death to the bone –
Man has created death...

~ Yeats






Who is the "GOD"..


I sometimes feel.. that God does exist for each one of us. God is him, who helps whose, who helps themselves. One who had power to affect and change all, is omnipresent, one from whom you cant hide anything. Each one of us have the power of a similar nature, which when exercised, enables us to affect, change and influence reality as it exists. Lets take me as an example... No one is in a better position to help me, more than i can, no matter what peril i face. Only entity capable of comprehension, that is present wherever i am is me. One who knows most about me is me myself. 

The concept of god also says that, with the end of god all that exists will cease to do so. When i die, i will cease to exist, so will my thoughts, my consciousness, the unique picture of how i see the world, how i interact with each element, how i categorise each interaction, experience, my perception of reality, my world of thoughts will cease to exist. My world would end with me, coz that's where it started. 

My god would die with me... coz I am my own god..

So what is death....is it the last sleep or the final awakening????

So if death is merely a phase in our lives in which we stop functioning, what 'phase' do we move onto next.. especially since you dismiss the existence of a soul?

So tell me, what do you believe? Do you have any beliefs or do you think that the person and form you are today is your ultimate and final destination? So how do you explain the many forms of species that exist, the reason why each living entity is unique in nature and by looks and why some die old, some young, some go through crap while others don't? Why some are rich and others poor?

Some feelings.. are hard to define!

Past two days have made me an emotional wreck!
Words have never come out this profusely!
I am in a situation where, I am not even doing anything.

Why is it, that the one whom WE want..is never with us..
But the one who is around us.. wants us that way!
And, we end up doing the same thing that we have experienced .. :HURT..

I don't know how much sense, you would find in these lines.. but they..seriously define the MESS I am in, presently.

Some feelings are hard to define,
within the boundaries of heart they are hard to confine.

It is not always that you can name these.
At times they seem to be wandering like directionless bees.

But even the bees are moving towards a definite goal,
towards a certain sense that titillates their soul.

The same cannot be said about what we feel,
taking us to the peak of an illusory hill.

The cause too is not always true,
a making of our own mind, something new.

We find reasons to validate our illusion,
the innocent heart is the only sufferer in this confusion.

So take some time before making a decision
some of these feelings can leave an uncurable incision.

Forgotten Part II

The eye which held dreams so sweet..
Me and you in a place so discreet ...
splashin the sea waves,watching the sun set..
But my tears tell me,thats not our fate..

How I wish we could be like before ..
I wish to be with you from my soul's core..
Has the relationship failed?
Or have we failed it?
tearin away a bond dat was once so close knit..

And still there's time,
All is not lost ..
We can still be together ..
But time itself it'll cost..
What use is time if you cant live it?
Lets put the puzzle together,bit by bit..

Did we ever try to keep our souls one?
We would have succeeded then..
even if it was not wanted by the wind,rain n d sun
They are just to blame,we had it weaken,
Its all our mistake
that I lie here all forgotten ...

Forgotten Part I

We were like the clouds 
Drifting in the sky,
Who just try and try 
To be and stay one.
But the wind, the rain 
And even the sun,
Nobody wants it done.
NONE!

We were driven apart
By the rays of the sun,
And washed away by the rain.
And then we went further apart,
As we were hurled away by the hail.

Then when we were 
Miles and miles away,
I lived and let the wind make me sway.
I let myself get carried away,
Dreaming, wishing, hoping,
I’ll be with you one day.

I waited for you,
I waited for so long.
I searched for you,
I searched for so long.

But, you seemed to have forgotten,
Who was I.
You seemed to have forgotten,
Where was I.
You seemed to have forgotten,
And that still brings tears to my eye!

Between us...

On a day that dawns like a freewheeling sparrow,
You hold my urchin hands, uncurling
all my doubts, scribbling away my worries 
in no particular order.
You’re still so randomly careless that I forget the
chronology of my first thought,
It just makes me smile.
Makes me cry. 
And I don’t know the reason why.

Words twist around us in stretches abandoned
by a white noise on the shore.
We’d strewn alphabets hoping they’d be heard one day.
And someone would find them, someday,by surprise.

We speak about places, dates and memoirs now
very much, like our own Renaissance 
Ignoring the silence that homes us, exchanging
notes in futility on nothingness,
musing about the significance of things
hopelessly struck out from the list.

Times will change like little baby blues
but the paper remains crumpled in a corner.

We’ll both grow older, 
Yet the differences would be static.

It is uncanny how after a decade of painful pantomimes
and a universe of flowery grace

Love will still be.. just  a four letter word...

An attempt at a Good bye

Don’t give me a list of 
possibilities and probabilities
I don’t need “if only’s” and “what if’s”
Chipping away at this wall-
That I have created around my heart…
Brick by brick
I have created this shield
Leaving no vents for friends or foes…

I’m sick of friends
Who chip away at these walls
INSISTENT
PERSISTENT
Like termites
Pest like they put up signboards
Signifying occupancy
And ruin my digestion

I still don’t know how to categorize you
Don’t know if I love you or hate you more…

I should learn the art of staying aloof
Of saying no to friend requests sent by strangers 
And ignore matchmaking attempts…

Don’t give me the silver linings
They don’t work anyway
Just let me go and mingle with the black clouds...