UNTITLED AS YET...

Sitting in a crowded room.
With people blithely moving about,
soft music in the background,
I watch children
gleefully scream and shout.
Gentle breeze rustling the curtains,
sunbeam creeping inside
through the windowpane.
All the settings in place
for a wonderful and relaxed meeting.
Then why
do I feel this disquietude,
why do all the emotions
come back from
which I am fleeing.
One look at you
and my time stands still,
yet every moment
seems to be fleeting.
I look at thee,
and the whole surroundings
are filled with splendour.
Music in the background,
tinkling of china,
friendly chatter,
kids laughter...
all fade into a distant murmur,
till I hear nothing
but the beating of my heart.
The world around
fades into oblivion,
and there is just you...
so near yet oceans apart.
We look at each other
and our eyes lock.
I look away feeling dizzy.
Is my confusion destined,
or is it merely self-brought?
I steal a look at you
and I search deep within.
Struggling to find answers
to the questions
I don't even know.
Desperately trying to hide the feelings
that I am not yet ready to show.
Surreptitiously I gaze at you,
hoping noone will discern.
I sway with the breeze
and breathe in your scent.
Will that whiff appease the ache,
or will it give way to a new torment?
You look at me and smile,
and I start acting nonchalant.
But is it really me?
Or am I putting on pretence?
If it's love that I sense,
than why do I feel this reluctance?
Is it that I am scared
that the love without
will not be the same
as it felt within?
If I give in to it-
will it become my catharsis?
Or will it become my cardinal sin?