Poetry: If I Could Only

If I could only
touch you, once;
I'd thrust my words so deep
the insinuation wouldn't be seen,
but only felt within.

If you could
only,
rest on my placidity;
and hear the roaring of my heart,
you'd be in tears.
Such is the courage it takes.

If I could only
hear you gasp and grasp the tips of my fingers
swooning into a slow dance in no particular sway
your veins and mine
would intertwine and find their roots
somewhere in between the air we breathe at once.

If you could only
say the words to me,
with the shrapnel it threatens to shoot
at you when you betray them,
and squeeze your soul out.
Until you can hold the words I long to hear
in a certain firmness that makes it
excruciatingly difficult for you to breathe
and say them; all at once.

If only I could 
find absence, from the little part in me
that rises with your absence.
The little gasps of breath in between
the sound of your laughter
and the warmth of your smile,
is where I'd live
If  I only could.