I loved her, Maybe I do.

You know my friend, I loved her. Like, really loved her. Truly, madly and without thinking. She was my only, my secret, the greatest. I was with many, but I always carried her in my heart. I needed her the most, and I hurt her the most. I couldn't accept the fact that I love, so I pushed her away. I constantly came to her, but actually I ran away from her. At some point I'd show her that I care and at next I'd prove it that I'm rubbish. And the worst thing of all, whenever I returned, she was always there. And now..


-What now? You've gotten over her? 

-No way, there are moments when I forget her for a moment, you know, when alcohol kills the last piece of me. 


-So why you don't go now and tell her everything? 

-Eh, you see. I accomplished what I want it. She's gone. Now when I return, she won't be there anymore. They say she loves another, but I know that's not true! 


-Go to her then! 

-I can't.


-Why? 

-She's reasonable now. She has understood that I'm just a big rubbish, and I could never love her. My love for her is classical. I can't be there for her, but I'll always expect from her to be here for me. I can't come and hug her when she feels difficult, although I know she would for me. 


-It's impossible to understand you! 

-Oh, I know my friend. I hear it often. Only one person could understand me. 


-Who? 

-She, my friend!

And then, Karan turns himself to the other side of the mirror, and punches his fist into the middle of it, breaking the mirror into pieces, some lying on the basin and some, still hanging loosely on the mirror stand. I those little pieces, he saw himself, break into further pieces, each, devoid of his own.


Mishti, I miss you.. Only if  could ever run to you, hold you in my arms and look into your warm eyes, feeling life, running in my blood..


He closes his eyes and shuts the door behind him, putting away the little scope of light that was there, somewhere. Shut.