Saturday, March 14, 2015

One Step At A Time, Time After Time!

We celebrated my sister’s thirteenth birthday yesterday, 13th of March; first celebration without our mother around. Mom had been overly enthusiastic about celebrating Pari’s birthday this time, to hark the onset of her teenage life. However, here is the twist: Her birthday was on the 27th of February and she had her final examinations then. Thus, keeping in mind the celebration that Mum wanted and an excuse to bring a smile on Pari’s face, I organised this celebration treat for her school friends right after the day her exams got over.

We went to Taste of China, though it was a random choice out of the possible options available at Connaught Place, it happened to be one of the places where my mother happened to have had a rather hearty dinner on our family date to the venue. The manager somehow recognised me when I’d met him a day prior to the treat, and I informed him about my mother’s demise to which he promised to be there with me throughout the party tomorrow.

And truly, I am grateful to Mr.Anthony for his kindness. I couldn’t have pulled through this party without his aid. My heart swelled with a thousand thoughts climaxing time and again within my mind. From managing phone calls of Pari’s friends to asking the maid to clean up on convincing Granny to join us as Dad had an important meeting and couldn’t join us.

The other part of me … my heart felt slightly guilty of organising a celebration so shortly after Mum passed away. Ideally, we must go through a period of abstinence from all things fun, be on a remorseful journey, healing our wounds.
However, I hate to see my sister upset. Mom had so many plans for her. She was so excited about this party. I could not let this moment go by. The tug of war continued in my heart as I dialed numbers and conversed with the parents of children who were to come for the treat. I had my apprehensions. No, I like kids. That’s not the point.
The point is, when you are suffering, when you are hungry of love and warmth yourself, how do you radiate warmth? Is a transformation from being a victim of circumstances to a survivor, possible? What if I ruin it for my sister? What if I am actually anti-social now (I  have fought with and distanced most of the people I  know at this moment)? How then will I manage to host a party for teenagers who’d be all pumped up and full of life?

Thoughts haunted me, threatening to consume me in its façade!

Only then my sister hugged me from behind. I was startled back to reality as she faced me and there she was! Wearing a new dress that we’d bought for the occasion, she was the prettiest sight I’ve laid my eyes on, for quite some time! Pari was gleaming and that smile radiated and shone like it were my North Star.

There are these moments in life when you realise, we need to smile through our tears instead of stopping them from flowing. It is okay to let go and it is okay to make mistakes, as long as we are okay being through the process of healing.
We reached Taste of China about fifteen minutes late and Nani was already hissing with embarrassment because we were behind schedule! What bowled my stumps was the fact that the children were already there and Mr.Anthony was playing host to them while we arrived! I cannot remember the last time I’ve flushed so badly! However, the children ran to us and hugged Paarijat and then hugged me. Who can stay grim around children?

I smiled though teary eyed. Children are amazing; it is unfathomable how they don’t judge you even if you are being stupid or unreasonable! One smile from them can make your day! We went on to huddle around a table and ordered for our food.
Soon after, I got a call from Pallavi, my school friend. Interestingly… we are from the same school these kids study in. She’s an incredibly amazing home baker and she curated a magnificent cake for my sister!

At one instant, your world reverberates from “I’m all alone” to “Wow! So many angels around me!”

I think what I learned from yesterday, apart from smiling again was that sometimes in life, we must reach out and take that leap of faith. Yes, we may fall, that fear comes along with the package! However, when we’re already at rock bottom, how deeper can we really fall more?

Just like some songs.. Some songs make you melancholic, some help you cry, and those very songs hold our hand and swoon along with us. And then angels around us make sure we’re smiling and a gentle tug at our chin comes with a whisper “Chin up, Girl!! Chin UP!

I wish to thank Housing for the prompt .

I wish to thank Housing for the prompt .